Breakable
by IrishRed98
Summary: Lily lost the one thing that she loved most, will she ever be able to forgive herself? Will she ever be able to love again?
1. Chapter 1

**Note: I do not own anything created by the mind of J.K. Rowling.  
**

* * *

James Potter walked down the corridors of the train, waving and smiling to his fellow classmates that he had not seen over the summer break. James was a striking man, he was tall about 6'2", build, tan, and just the perfect tall dark and handsome. With his chocolate brown eyes, and messy jet-black hair, he was easily one of the sexiest guys at Hogwarts, and to even add on to his looks he was the star quidditch player, and recently named Head Boy. Girls seemed to swoon as he walked by. James of course got a kick out of this whole ordeal and just played along with it, giving them his trademark grin, or winking at them. This makes James come off as cocky, arrogant, and extremely self-centered. 

But the one thing James didn't do was date them. He wasn't a rapid dater; he had only dated two girls since he had been at Hogwarts. One was in the 5th year, her name was Bridget Townstead, a cute perky girl from Ravenclaw, but broke up with her after 5 months when she wanted to go faster in their relationship and James just wasn't ready. The other girl was in his 6th year, Emily Fruine, she was shy 5th year from Griffindor, but she broke up with him the last day of school, after they had been dating for 9 months.

That was the biggest misconception about James Potter, was he was just this big ladies man who liked to flaunt himself around with women. At heart he was just a big romantic, but of course he never led it on that this was the way he really was. He did have a reputation and didn't want it getting out that he was a big softy. Of course up keeping his reputation wasn't all that hard thanks to his best friend the Marauders.

The Marauders consisted of James, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius was the true ladies man of the group. He was also about 6'2" with shaggy black hair, gray eyes, build, tan, another example of tall dark and handsome. Sirius also was on the Quidditch team, and loved to use that to his advantage. He wooed the ladies with his puppy dog eyes, and killer smile. And girls continuously fell for it every time. Sirius had moved in with the Potter's in his 5th year, since he deemed his family unsuitable for him. Sirius is like a brother to James and his is best mate.

Remus Lupin was the shy one. He was 6'3" with sandy blonde hair, and golden hazel eyes. He wasn't quite as build as the other boys, he was lanky and a little on the pale side comparatively. Remus was smart and sensible, always trying to keep the other boys in check. He wasn't a really all about going out and trying to get women to notice him, it just sort of happened. Girls seem to fall for his adorable shyness. He dated a few girls, but they lasted about for a few months. Remus never seemed capable of getting close to a girl. Remus was also one of the prefects for Griffindor.

Peter Pettigrew is totally opposite of the three previous boys. He is 5'8" and not fit, but not fat. He has fury brown hair, with yellowish brown eyes. He's not good in school or sports. He sort of just tags along with the other guys, they accept him, and he likes feeling accepted. Girls thinkif he is cool enough for the Marauders then he has to be cool enough for them. Oddly enough though, Peter has been going out with the same girl since 5th year. Her name is Susie Patirsen, she was in 4th year when they met, and she's a Hufflepuff. This is who Peter likes to spent his time with when he's not around James, Sirius or Remus.

The Marauders are not only known for their charm, ability, and good looks, but also for their infamous pranks. James and Sirius being the main pranksters, and Remus being the clear thinker, enjoyed pranking Slytherins, their rival house, but soon it became pranking whomever they could and certain girls who denied them. Then they had to make the next prank better than the last, and soon the teachers dubbed them the Marauders and it just stuck.

* * *

Lily Evans sat in the Head compartment staring out the window; she watched monotonously each tree that passed by. The meeting with all the prefects just ended, she has Head Girl should of done more, but she just didn't feel like talking or interacting with anyone. She knew they were all staring at her, wondering what was going on. Lily knew they knew, and that it was the big talk of the whole summer. James hadhandled the meeting well, he took the led reins just fine, and as soon as the meeting was over he ushered everyone out as quickly as possible. The door to the compartment opened up behind Lily, she didn't bother to turn to look who it was. She just figured it was James coming to get his things. 

"That went well," said a soft voice, which wasn't James'.

Lily look up and saw it was Remus. Remus had always been a good friend to Lily; he was her study partner, and level head friend she always was able to talk to when things got a little hectic. Though most of the pranks James and Sirius played on girls were on her, Remus opted not to be a part of those anymore once he got to know her. They had been friend ever since 3rd year, and Lily was glad of that.

Lily gave a slight shrug to Remus' comment. She talked to Remus about everything, and this is just something she didn't want to talk about. Lily didn't want people feeling sorry for her; Lily just wanted people to leave her alone. Remus studied Lily as she gave her shrug. She was broken; her typically sparkling emerald eyes were dull and lifeless. Her usual shiny, flowing fierce red hair was unkempt and dry. Lily creamy complexion had gone pale and ghostly. Remus stared at this girl once full of life and vigor, now crumbling before them all, living but very dead on the inside.

"Lily," Remus began  
"Please don't," Lily whispered

Remus gave a half smile, nodded and went to the door.

"If you ever..."  
"Thanks," Lily replied not even letting him finish.

With that Remus left the compartment and Lily was once again alone to stare out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

**Flashback**

It was end of 6th year. All the students just finished taking their final exams. All the pressure was off; all they had to do was wait for the results. The students were scattered about Hogwarts enjoying the day off. Some were in the library, the great hall, their dorms, but most were outside enjoying the beautiful summer day. The Marauders were down by the lake, swimming and goofing off.

Peter and Susie were under the tree near the lake chatting and kissing. It was a sweet thing to see, Peter was really in love. Sirius has his girl of the week, Lauren from some house, who can keep track. He was out in the water dunking her repeatedly, and all you heard were fits of giggles surrounded by a momentary splash. James, Emily, Lily, Lori, and Gavin were all sitting on a picnic blanket talking about their prospective summers.

Gavin Bieward was a boy from Ravenclaw, same age as them. He had shaggy black hair with blue eyes, and was about 5'9". He played Quidditch, and was a prefect. Gavin had be perusing Lily all year, but finally just settled being her friend when he realized that she didn't want to date anyone and it wasn't just him.

Lori Evans was Lily's twin sister, however she had differed herself from Lily. Lori had ocean blue eyes, and dyed her hair blonde. It was a short bob cut, with sweeping bangs. Lori had little freckles around her nose, with a back from the beach tan. Though Lily and Lori were twins, most of the time you would have to do a double take. Lori was good friends with the Marauders, and was rather popular. All that year she had convinced Lily to come along with her for the ride, and finally she broke. Lily and Lori became the two main girls on campus, guys wanted them, and girls wanted to be them. In Lily's opinion it had been one of her best years yet.

"I'm probably just going to enjoy the summer and hang out with Ty," Lori said, Ty was Lori's boyfriend back home, "unlike Lily here who is going to spend her time with her nose buried in some boring book that's she has already read a thousand times." She gave Lily a nudge, making her blush bright pink.

"Now there is nothing wrong with that!" Lily said defensively  
"There is if you have a life," James said.  
"Oh yes and you have a life Mr. I'm going to go home to my gazillion dollar mansion and complain how bored I am all summer."  
"No Sirius is there to complain with me." James replied with a smug smile.  
"You know Lily if you ever do need a life you could come hang out with me this summer." Gavin chimed in.  
"Oh you would love that one wouldn't you Gavin," Lori said laughing.

Lily rolling her eyes at the thought. "What are you going to do this summer Emily?"  
"Probably just hang out with James at his gazillion dollar mansion and complain how bored I am," Emily said with a slight grin.  
"Oh you are," James said pulling her closer to him. "That might not be such a bad idea," he said whispering in her ear.  
"God guys get a room," Lily said when the kissing started.  
"I think we just might do that," James said standing up.  
"James," Emily said embarrassingly turning beet red.  
James pulled Emily to her feet.  
"Later guys," he said and the couple walked away.

Lily, Lori, and Gavin stayed outside talking about the summer and the big plans for them in the future. Lily and Lori decided that they were going to go down and backpack across Europe see the sites, and live it up. This summer was going to be a blast and Lily knew it.

* * *

It was the last night at Hogwarts and Lily laid in her bed staring up at the top of her ceiling. 

"Hey Lori, you awake?" Lily whispered.  
"Yes, I'm awake. What do you want?"  
"You know our plan that we thought of today about backing packing across Europe?"  
"Yea."  
"I really want to do that this summer. I think it would be awesome."  
"You know what me too," Lori said, getting out of bed and going to Lily's.  
"Thanks for this whole year, I think it's been my best one yet."  
"Aw Lils, don't get all sappy on me. But I had a blast too."  
Lori gave her sister a big hug. They got under the covers and laid down.  
"You know I am excited about going back home though, I'll be able to see Ty again, join the summer football league, and just be a teenage girl." Lori said.  
"Mmmhmmm."  
"You aren't falling asleep on me Lily?"  
"…."  
"Lily…Good night."

* * *

"MUM!" Lily yelled getting off the Hogwarts Express. She ran over to her giving her a big hug.  
"Where's Lori?" She asked  
"MOTHER!" The scream came towards them making it a big bundle of hug.  
"Come on let me get you girls home so you can tell me all about this year."

On the car ride home the twins had learned that Petunia had moved in with longtime boyfriend Vernon, and was now living in Southern England.

"What a twat moving in with the pregnant cow!" Lori stated.  
"Lori be nice," Mum said.  
"Well he is"  
"Image what their babies would look like," Lily said, "a sausage on a stick!"  
"Huh?"  
"You know like a kebab, that you grill," laughed Lily  
"Sure"  
"Well shut up I thought it was funny!" Lily said playfully punching Lori in the side of the arm.  
"Were home girls!"  
"Finally!" Lori exclaimed

With that Lori jumped out of the car and ran up to the house, promptly stopped when she found the door unlocked. "MUM!" Mother threw he the keys, and with a few quick jiggles she was inside.

"Home," Lori said taking a big breath in, "I just love the smell of home."

Lily lived in a quaint house with her family. It was a two story brick with a light brown picked fence. The upstairs of their house only consisted of two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a few closets. The downstairs was a kitchen, family room, dining room, a bathroom, a library, which had been converted into a bedroom, and a few closets. Lily had lived in this house her whole life, born and raised. She loved it greatly, it used to seem so crowded with her Mum, Dad, Petunia, and Lori all living there. But now it seemed too big and empty.

Lori ran up the stairs and flopped down on her bed.  
"Lori are you going to unpack the car?" Her mother asked.  
"I'll do it later Mum, I just got home." With that she shut her bedroom door.

Lily walked inside the house. I smelled like home, and she felt safe there.


	3. Chapter 3

Lily's mother, Karen, stood in the kitchen fixing dinner. Lily watched her move elegantly about, as she unpacked her things. The library was Lily's converted bedroom, it suited her best for all the bookcases were already in that room, besides Lori and Petunia seemed to always get along better.

"Lori," Karen called from downstairs. A _huh?_ was heard through the muffled door. "Get your things from the car. I don't want to wake you up in the morning when I go to work."

After five minutes Lori emerged from her room and bounded down the stairs, out the front door. Lily gave a grin at this as she unpacked the last of her things and walked out into the kitchen. There was a plate of carrots out and Lily grabbed one and quickly bit into it.

"So what's for dinner," Lily asked sitting down onto the stool chair.  
"Just some pasta," her mum replied.

Lily studied her mum; her usual wavy blonde hair was pulled back into a simple bun. She wore a light brown button shirt, with some gray slacks. Her mum looked sophisticated, for even this simple task. It made her wonder why her father ever left.

Lily's father, Robert, was a businessman. He was tall in stature with dark brown hair and green eyes, and very easy going. Work is where he met Mum. He fell for her undying beauty, and she fell for his playful antics. Robert traveled a lot with his way of work, maybe that's where it went wrong, Lily was never sure. She never heard her parents argue, and never suspected anything being wrong. Then one day, when she was 14, father packed up his things and left. Lily never got to say goodbye to him, and hasn't heard from him in 3 years.

"What are you staring at," she asked smiling, lighting up her face and featuring her beauty.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't staring just thinking."  
"Really about what," she asked inquisitively.  
"Have you heard from father?" Lily asked wearily.

The front door swung open and Lori was standing there dragging in her trunk.  
"Why these damn things are seem so much heavier when you are trying to bring them back in, I will never know." she said annoyed.

"Mum," Lily asked ignoring Lori.  
"Lets not talk about your father now"  
"But Mum I think I should have the right to contact him," Lily said getting defensive.

A loud thump erupted from the stairs as Lori slowly dragged her trunk up.

"Look Hun, your father left us and that's all you need to know." She said and turned around and started stirring the pot in front of her.  
"Why though?" Lily asked getting curious.  
"It doesn't matter why, he left." She said not even looking up from the pot.

_THUMP_

Lily getting a little annoyed, "Mum he left for a reason, he wouldn't just get up and walk away from us. Besides I haven't talk to him in three years."

_THUMP_

"Lily look, your father walked out on this family, there is nothing that I can do about that. If he wanted to contact you I'm sure he would of by now, just let it be."

_THUMP_

"Mum, that is ridiculous, I know father, he wouldn't of just left and never tried to of contacted us, and ignored all our birthdays. It doesn't make sense; we were his life for 20 years."

_THUMP_

"Lily, that's enough drop it," she said looking Lily straight in the eyes.  
"No it's not enough!' Lily said heatedly, standing up from her chair.

_THUMP_

"I am his daughter, your daughter; I have the right to know!" Lily said now almost screaming.

_THUMP_

"LORI PICK UP THE GOD DAMN TRUNK!" Lily's mum screamed throwing down the spoon she was stirring with. "Now you listen to me young lady, I told you to drop this subject about your father and you do so now, not another word of it!"

Lily just stood there staring at her mother, she had never outwardly defied her mother, but this just pushed Lily somewhere. "No Mum, now you listen to me! I am tired of your bullshit about my father, I don't care what happened between the two of you and why he left, but damnit I have the right to know why he left me!"

The timer went off on the oven. A bit taken aback by Lily's sudden backtalk Mum said, "Dinner's ready."

Dinner was horrible for Lily; there was this knot of guilt in her stomach. Mum didn't even glance at her throughout the whole meal. She wasn't quite sure how to react, Lori just sat there chatting away obvious to the tension at the table. Lily finished eating quickly as possible and went to her room, Lily stayed there for the rest of the night. She went to her bookshelf an old book in the back. She opened it up and it was a picture album. Lily gave small smile at the sight of it, and began flipping through it. Lily woke up abruptly around midnight. She must have dozed off looking at the album. Lily heard a muffled thud outside her window. She went over to the window to look out and she saw Lori scaling the ivy vines. Lily quickly opened up her window and stuck her head out.

"And where do you think you're off to?" She asked to her sister, which startled her, making Lori let go of the vines and fall down to the ground on her back.

"Oh my! Are you alright?" Lily said worriedly quickly climbing out her window to go check on her.  
"I've landed better," Lori said laughing and extended her arm up. Lily took hold of her hand pulling Lori up from the ground.

"So where do you think you are going at this time of night?"  
"Ty invited me to this graduation party with some of his friends, and I thought I'd go check it out. He'll be here any minute to pick me up."  
"I don't think you should go. You know how those things go Lori, besides what's Mum going to say if she finds out you're gone?"  
"Please, Mum wouldn't notice I was gone even if she opened up the bedroom door and had a conversation with me. Besides she has to go to work early in the morning and won't be worried about checking on me."  
"Lori," Lily said exasperatedly, "please just don't go, I don't feel comfortable with you going."  
"Stop being a tight ass Lily, God I can take care of myself," Lori said playfully.

Lori turned to walk away, but was stopped by Lily's hand grabbing onto her arm.  
"I don't want you to go," Lily said forcefully.  
"God girl! Chill down! I said I'll be fine!" Lori said now getting annoyed, "now let go of me here comes Ty's car."  
Lily let go of Lori's arm and watched her walk away. Something about the situation made Lily really uncomfortable. Following her gut Lily quickly caught up with Lori.

Lori was getting into Ty's car, the window was rolled down and Lily put her hand in the car.  
"Lori, come on get out of the car."  
"What!" Lori said in disbelieve.  
"Come on Lori just get out of the car!"  
"No!"  
"Stop being ridiculous and get out of the damn car, you don't need to be going to this!"  
"Hey Lori would you like stop talking to your sister so we can leave, where missing the party!" Ty chimed in, he had obviously been drinking.

"Ok babe," Lori said calmly to Ty, then turn to Lily angrily and said, "Who the hell do you think you are ordering my around like that! I can take care of my damn self, and I don't need your approval to do this! What the hell is your problem lately first you get Mum all upset and now me! Why the hell don't you just back the fuck off for awhile?"

"Fine! Pardon me for wanting to look out for you and making sure you don't get hurt! Just go off and get yourself killed, see if I go to your funeral, you stupid bitch!" Lily yelled back. Lily took a step back from the car, and watched it drive around the corner. She turned around and started walking back to the house.

The sound could be heard from miles away. I was like a wrench being scraped across a chalkboard, and to Lily it was a knife being stabbed through her heart. It seemed as if time stopped as the echo was heard throughout the neighborhood. Tears started to fall from Lily's face when she turn and ran towards where the noise emitted from. Oh God please Lily kept thinking to herself, don't let it be bad.

Lily only had to run a couple of blocks until she saw the crash. There were a few people that were standing around it looking at it. The closer she approached the accident the more scared she became. The car had wrapped itself between a light post and tree. It was totaled, nothing but a scrunched piece of metal. Lily pushed passed a few people almost in a trance; her hand touched the tail end of the car, almost scared to look in.

A man grabbed the back of her shoulder, but she just shrugged it off. Time seemed to be in slow motion to her. She went to the passenger side and looked in. There lied a severed Lori. At that moment time caught up with her. Lily miraculous pried open the jammed door, and got to Lori.

"Lori," she let out a soft sob, "Lori please say something."  
Lily sat there and held Lori in her arms, "Please Lori."  
Lori eyes looked up and connected with Lily's, "Help me, Lily, help me."

And just like that she was gone. Lily sat there hugging her sister and crying. The ambulance arrived shortly after. Both Ty and Lori were pronounced dead at the scene. Lily sat on the curb, and the accident behind her was being cleaned up. She was covered in Lori's blood, and had this spaced out stare on her face. A man came up and tried to talk to her, but she didn't even hear him. Lily sat on that curb for the rest of the night just crying. All Lily could see was this naïve, innocent face looking at her pleading for her help, and there was nothing Lily could have done. Lily would have given her life for her sister at the moment.

The sun began to rise and the morning was beginning. Early risers were out walking around to see the crash sight. Lily couldn't believe it, like it was some spectacle to gawk at, just a new gossip item for this neighborhood to talk about. Didn't they realize that people had died here? Slowly the number of people got a little bigger around her. Some recognized that is was Lily sitting on the curb, and gave her their condolences. But to some point she didn't want to hear it, she didn't want people telling her how sorry she was for her. Like they had any idea what just happened to her, like they had ever held the one thing that you loved most die in your arms.

Lily arose from the curb and began to walk home. Lori's blood was all dried and stained on her porcelain skin. She wanted a shower, she wanted to wash off last night, get it out of her mind, maybe it never happened, and maybe it was all a dream. As Lily approached her house she saw a cop car sitting in her drive. Her thoughts then went to her mum, she couldn't face her mum, she was the one that let Lily get into the car, and she was the one that killed her daughter. Ii took every muscle in Lily's body to turn that front door knob. As she entered her house there wasn't that smell of comfort, there wasn't that sense of safety. It seemed that Lori wasn't the only person that left her life last night.

Her Mum approached her as she heard the front door open. Mum didn't look like her sophisticated self. Her hair was frazzled, and her eyes were red from crying. Lily looked at her mum, all she wanted to do was give her a hug and cry with her, but something held her back. Lily couldn't even look in her mother's eyes. Lily just turned down the hall and went into her room.

Lily walked into her room and closed her room, she felt a slight breeze. She turned to see the window still open from last night. Lily went and looked out it; there was an ivy vine on the ground, and a little indentation in some flowers where Lori had landed the previous night. Lily quickly shut the window and closed the curtains. Her room seemed so small at that moment, with all the bookcases in there, it felt as it her room was closing in on her. She had so many emotions running through her at that moment: exhaustion, anger, sadness, Lily just couldn't handle it, she had cracked. Lily went over to a bookcase and pushed off all the books off the shelf. She let out a scream, and went to the next shelf, just throwing her books taking out all her anger. Then Lily grabbed a book and looked at that window and threw it as hard as she could at it. It shattered and came crashing down, the door to her bedroom quickly opened and her mum was standing there, looking at a balled up Lily lying on the floor sobbing.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily's mum went over to her sobbing body, and leaned down, "Honey, a cop is here, and would like to talk to you about the accident," she said in a soft soothing tone.

Lily looked up and nodded her head. She quickly regained her composure and went out into the living room where this cop was sitting sipping tea. Lily sat opposite of the cop in a small wooden chair, and told him what happened. The cop thanked her, gave them both his condolences and left.

There was this weird mood settled among the house. Mum was just in this cleaning frenzy, and Lily just stayed sitting in that chair for a while. After about an hour, there was a knock on the door. Lily went up to answer it, it was her Aunt Becky. As soon as Lily opened the door Aunt B, gave Lily a huge uncomfortable hug.

"Oh my god child, what is all over you?" Aunt B asked in somewhat of a shock. Lily looked down and realized that she had yet to shower, and Lori's blood was still all over her.

"It's um...well…," Lily tried to get out with tears welding up in her eyes.  
Aunt B quickly replied, "Don't worry dear, you'll feel better after a shower." And with that she kissed Lily on the forehead and went off to go find her sister. Lily knew she was right, so she went upstairs and took a shower. As she showered she watched her sister's blood roll off her and slowly escape down the drain.

After Lily got out of the shower, it seemed a little more noise downstairs. More family members had arrived. She quickly got dressed and threw her hair up in a clip. Lily really didn't want to be around any of her family, but maybe she hoped that her father had arrived.

As Lily walked down stairs she realized it was more people than she anticipated. There was from her mother's side; he Aunt Becky, Uncle Dean with wife Lacy and three kids Mike, John, and Peter, whom she had never met. Then from her father's side there was Uncle Chuck and his wife Terri and newborn baby Elisa. Also it had seemed that Petunia had arrived with Vernon, but the one person she did not see was her father. Lily spotted Uncle Chunk in the family room, nibbling on a cracker.

"Uncle Chuck," Lily asked approaching him, "where is my father?"  
Chuck looked up, and promptly stuffed the rest of the cracker into his mouth.  
"He is out of state and won't get here until Tuesday, the day of the funeral," he answered.

Lily nodded her head and began to realize how many people were in the house. She had to get out of there, just too many people in one area. She swiftly moved into her bedroom, and shut the door. The mess from that morning was still displayed about, so Lily decided to pick it up.

By the time Lily was done reorganizing her bookshelf, and sweeping up the glass, the sun had set and the relatives had said their goodbyes for the night. Lily climbed into bed to try to go to sleep, but every time she shut her eyes, she would see Lori's face. Eventually exhaustion took over and Lily dozed off, just to relive what happened the night before in a dream.

The next few days seemed to pass by slowly, more random relatives Lily had never met stopped by and every neighbor seem to of stopped in and gave them food. Most of it however was uneaten, but no one in the house seemed to have an appetite. Tuesday has arrived, and once again the house was packed full of relatives dressed in black, awaiting the arrival of the cars so they could drive to the funeral.

Lily was sitting on the couch when she heard the knock at the door; someone must have answered it because so lady walked in with a small child. Lily had no idea who she was, but when her father walked in right behind her Lily's heart dropped.

Lily looked at her father, he seemed so different. He had grown this ashy beard, and wore glasses; it didn't even look like the man she once knew. Then Lily looked towards that lady, and she quickly realized who it was and why her father had left. Lily arose from the couch and pushed past her father and ran out the front door.

"LILY," her father yelled from behind.  
Lily turned around, "SO that's why you left? You got some slut pregnant! You dropped everything you had for her!"  
"Lily it isn't that simple," Lily's father said approaching her.  
"Get away from me," she said backing up, "How could you even bring her here? This isn't about you and you making some…some statement! This is about saying goodbye!"

"Lily that's not—"

Ignoring him, "You brought here into our house! Like she's part of this family! She broke up this family, you broke up this family! You are a horrible person!" Lily said holding back tears.

"I'm so sorry Lily I never meant—'

"You NEVER MEANT," Lily screamed, "then what did you mean? You must have _meant_ to walk out on us, you must have_ meant_ never to call, and you must have _meant_ to start a whole other life!"

"Yes Lily," her father said calmly, "just like you must have meant for Lori to get into that car with that boy, you must have meant for her to crash, and you must have meant for her to die."

Lily was taken aback by her father. How could he of just said that? How could he compare that to him? The amount of anger and guilt Lily was feeling right then; she couldn't express it in words. She did the only thing that she knew, and turn and ran. She heard her father screaming her name and she ran down the street, but she didn't turn to look back.

Lily didn't run for very long, she had on there short black heels that been very uncomfortable, so she took off her shoes and just started walking. Lily didn't realize how long she had been walking until her right leg began to cramp. She looked around to find out where she was and she was only a few block away from the cemetery. Lily now really didn't feel like attending her sister's funeral, she never really did. Something so sad like that wouldn't have fit Lori, it didn't feel like her, and a part her felt that this would permanently be saying goodbye.

Lily arrived at the cemetery and saw where it was all taking place. She stood from afar and the precession happened. She noticed a few kids from school were even there. This must have been printed in the wizardry newspaper also. Lily watched it all ended and the last of the people slowly trickled away, she watched the coffin get buried. It finally seemed everyone was gone so she approached the grave.

She read the tombstone:

_Lorelei Marie Evans_

_Her lays our beloved Daughter and Sister  
And shall always remain full of life_

Lily knelt down in front of it.  
"I'm so sorry I let you down, I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Lily arrived home late that night, and in hopes that her mother had already gone to bed. She had not talked to her mother since she was told to go talk to the cop. Lily quietly opened the front door, but then ignored that tactic when she realized that the lights were still on. Lily walked in the house and down the hall to her room. She was abruptly stopped by her mother, who had been drinking.

"Where the hell have _YOU_ been?"  
"I—I was just out," Lily said with a stutter.

"OUT! _YOU_ WERE JUST OUT," she yelled, "you were out after you made a scene with your faaather, that's what you were."

"You, LILY, once again managed to make this day about yourself," she slurred, "you—you go off on your father like that, and—and you runaway."

"You KILL your sister then—then you don't give her enough COURTESY _to_ attend her funeral, YOU are such a bitch," she said with this sudden rage, and she raised her hand up and slapped Lily in the face.

"No one's going to pity you! You're the one that killed her! You took her away! You could have stopped it, but you didn't! You let this happen—"

Lily didn't stay to hear the rest of what her mother was saying to her. She walked into her room and shut the door, locking it. She gingerly touched the place where her mother had hit her, it didn't really hurt. But her mother had hit hard with what she had said, _"Just go off and get yourself killed, see if I attend your funeral, you stupid bitch." _Her mother was right she killed Lori it was all her fault.

Lily for the rest of the summer mulled over what she had done. Slowly she slipped away and lost sight of what was going on around her. When her Hogwart's letter arrived her mother was so of her, but Lily seemed indifferent. Lily never went to Diagon Alley to retrieve her school supplies her mother did it for her. Thought Mum had apologized profusely towards Lily and she knew it really wasn't her fault and she had even recommended counseling to her, but nothing seemed to get through. Lily just drifted away into a state of depression.

**END OF FLASHBACK**


End file.
